I sat on the pier reading my mystery novel and enjoying the summer sun. My feet were swinging gently in the water. Something began tickling my feet. I looked down expecting to see minnows scuttling away. Instead, it was some sort of insect. Was it a dragonfly nymph?
It attached itself to a piece of water grass and began to emerge from its chrysalis. Mesmerized, I watched it wiggle its way out and float free. It was some sort of moth, triangular in shape about an inch long. It unfurled its wings and propelled itself toward another piece of grass. I briefly considered helping it but decided it seemed to know what it was supposed to do. Mother Nature was helping it along. Who was I to mess with that?
I felt the wonder of watching this little moment of transformation. In a blink of an eye, a large mouth of a bass closed around it with an audible POP! I about jumped out of my skin. Then I started to laugh and laugh and laugh. That poor moth never got a chance to dry off. The circle of life occurred right before my eyes. If I were a fisherman, I would have run to the shed to grab a line and a lure that looked like a moth. Being me, I just chuckled in wonder of the world and went back to my book.
I’ve thought a lot about if there is a lesson in this. There is, of course, the concept that life is fleeting. You don’t live into your sixties without figuring that out. On to the next idea. I could have been upset by the sudden demise of this moth. It brought those statistics about the number of eggs laid as compare to the number who live to adulthood. I’m not sure if my moth counted as adulthood. Does that mean you get to open your wings and fly before you’re an adult? How many of us have opened our wings and flown?
I wonder how it felt to climb out of that chrysalis and suddenly become a moth floating in a lake. The major transitions in my life have often been anticipated and dreamt about, although a few have been shockingly sudden. Even when I jumped in with my eyes wide open, I, too, have felt adrift, I float around, looking for a tall piece of something to climb upon to dry out and view the lay of the land. I want Mother Nature, or perhaps she should be Mother Nurture, to whisper in my ear what to do next to make my new wings work effectively. Instead, I often feel that I float randomly, wiggling my new self around, avoid being eaten by a big fish. It can be quite scary.
Rebirth is like that. I have rebirthed (can I use that word?) myself several times in my life. I have felt that way recently. This time I have decided to trust that the Universe will take care of me. If I listen to my heart, it will find the way to move forward. I do have moments of fear and worry, but I put my hand on my heart and get quiet. Sometimes, I ask what I should be doing. Sometimes I ask if something is a good idea. Sometimes, less often but more rewarding, I ask what I should know. Then I just listen. Always, I get an answer. It is my connection to Source. It will never lead me astray. It creates a path that doesn’t always lead directly to where I want to be but rather to a direction I should take.
Meanwhile, I am grateful for yet another chance to evolve and grow into some new form of myself. I wish for it you, too.
All my love,
Lee-Ann